The loss of a loved one through death, illness, or divorce is one of the most stressful events that can occur in a person’s life and can cause a major emotional disruption in all aspects of life. Some of the emotions that may be experienced as normal and common reactions to loss include denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, yearning, anger, humiliation, despair, and guilt. When a loss occurs, you experience bereavement. There is no real order to the bereavement process, but typically there is an initial stage of numbness when you first learn of the loss. Later, a period of mourning is a necessary and natural process as you begin to accept a major loss. The outward expression of your loss is called grieving, and this can be expressed physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Physical symptoms can include stomach pain, loss of appetite, intestinal discomfort, sleep disturbances, and loss of energy. Emotional reactions include chronic fatigue, anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts about the loss of a loved one, and, in extreme cases, thoughts of suicide. The loss may also necessitate practical changes that can initially feel overwhelming. You may be confronted by issues such as social adjustments, parenting alone, adjusting to a single life, and suspending or returning to work.

It can be particularly difficult for small children to understand a loss or death. They are often confused about the changes around them, and their sense of security or survival may feel threatened. Because they have limited understanding, young children may regress to earlier behaviors, such as bedwetting, or they may ask questions that seem insensitive. Elderly people are also especially vulnerable when losing a spouse because it brings severe feelings of loneliness and loss of emotional support and companionship if the death ends a lifetime of shared experiences for a couple. A loss due to suicide can be one of the most difficult losses to bear. Many times survivors are left with a burden of guilt, shame, and anger, and often the survivors feel responsible for the death and feel that they should have been able to prevent it.

Successfully coping with loss is vital to mental health. You should allow yourself to grieve by seeking out caring people, expressing your feelings, taking care of your health, and being patient that the pain will lessen and gradually leave some cherished moments of your loved one. It is important to realize that not all reactions to loss are immediate. Sometimes the feelings of anxiety and depression may not seem clearly connected to a particular loss and may appear months or years afterwards. This is called post-traumatic stress disorder.