Every parent wants to enjoy a certain quality of life and have harmony in his or her family, yet this ideal is often difficult to achieve. As parents, we have developmental expectations about our children from infancy through the teen years, and each stage brings its own challenges, setbacks, and successes. Understanding your role as a parent and knowing that some techniques can be more effective than others can have a positive benefit for the quality of life of you and your child. Challenges occur with parenting children that include:

• Tantrums
• Arguments
• Mood changes
• Uncooperative behavior
• Drug and alcohol abuse
• Lack of commitment to school
• Sibling rivalry
• Bullying behavior

Parenting skills are often learned through behavior modeling—experiences that occurred in our family of origin as we grew up with our own parents. Years ago, when extended families lived together, or in close proximity to each other, there was always someone else to offer a suggestion or provide relief when times were challenging. Today, parents are learning creative ways to raise their children more independently, often with the help of friends, books, peers, and counselors at school.

During different developmental stages, the challenges that children present can seem overwhelming. Many times we are in conflict about the type of discipline to apply to a child for a given situation, and it often depends on the age of the child and the severity of the issue at hand. There is always a delicate balance between hurting a child's feelings and imposing respect for rules that are important to adhere to. Parenting norms vary across cultures, socioeconomic circumstances, and ethnic origins. Furthermore, each child is different, and each child requires different strategies of parenting. Most children benefit from firm and clear boundaries with clear and consistent consequences for breaking or challenging rules. Parents can respond in different ways when problems arise, using concepts such as redirection of energy, time-outs, or loss of privileges.

Parents also teach children values, morals, and the importance of respecting others. We make decisions about what type of formal education is important, and throughout their lives, we often shuffle school responsibilities for our children with employment and leisure activities. We are concerned with health and safety issues as well as with emotional growth. Sometimes parenting doesn't come naturally, and it is helpful to talk to a professional about problems your child may be experiencing before it feels like things are out of hand. Parents sometimes have unrealistic expectations for a child or may not understand their expression of independence; discussions with a psychotherapist can often provide explanation and clarification of these concepts.

We can help you:

• Understand the developmental stages of children
• Strengthen your parenting skills
• Reestablish the parental power base
• Develop resilience
• Decrease household stress